As of this Friday, I will be six weeks postpartum with my beautiful baby girl. I will be headed to the doctor for my six-week checkup, at which time she will hopefully give me the go-ahead to start exercising (more than just walking) and actively trying to lose the weight I gained while pregnant.
But losing weight while breast feeding is a tricky business. I’ve read that if you start dropping pounds too quickly, it can affect your milk supply. And breastfeeding mothers are supposed to eat around 300 to 500 extra calories per day.
Not to mention the fact that losing weight is a tricky business for me personally anyway. It’s a path fraught with emotional landmines and pitfalls. From the privileged vantage of time, I realized last year that I believe I had a binge eating disorder when I was younger. Then, towards the end of my pregnancy, I realized I was going back to those old habits: eating large quantities of food when I wasn’t physically hungry, being unable to stop myself from eating until the food was gone, eating in secret. At first I chalked it up to the emotional roller coaster of late-term pregnancy, telling myself I needed the comfort, needed the food, even, to feed myself and my child. But the truth of it was that I was resorting to old coping mechanisms when the going got tough.
I caught it. It shocked and scared me and I cried about it. And then I made the decision not to let it defeat me. I have had one or two small episodes since then, but I truly believe I have beaten it back once again.
But that doesn’t mean I’m done. Two other things have happened since my daughter was born that have tripped me up emotionally. First, I decided to weigh myself about two weeks after I gave birth (really bad idea), and the number on the scale was larger than it had been when I was at my biggest, nearly 12 years ago. Then, when my maternity pants were no longer fitting properly, but my pre-pregnancy pants still didn’t fit, I went to try on jeans at Target, with the idea of buying a transitional pair (bad idea number two). The ones that fit the best were the same size I was at my biggest all those years ago.
That was hard to swallow. My first thought was, You’re back at the beginning. All that work you did, and now you have to start over from square one.
And while it might be true quantitatively, qualitatively the journey will be entirely different. I know so much more now than I did back then—about the ins and outs of diets and exercise, but more importantly, about myself. I’m so much better prepared to deal with the negative thoughts and hard emotional hurdles I’m going to have to face.
My boulder may have rolled back to the bottom of the mountain, but this time, I know the best paths to push it back to the top.
So now I have some decisions to make. I have to decide how I want to go about this journey. What kind of diet and exercise plan makes the most sense for me—physically and emotionally?
I’m still weighing my options (no pun intended), but I think this is where I’m going to start:
- walk at least 10,000 steps per day (surprisingly easy with a baby!)
- focus on eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains
- record what I eat
- work in some strength training exercises, whether that means yoga, push-ups, or weights
And I’ve already got my goal and reward set. A couple of days ago, I bought a Groupon for a style assessment from a local image and wardrobe consultant. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and getting it half price seemed like I should jump on the chance.
But the coupon expires at the end of August. So, my goal is to try to lose an average of two pounds per week between now and then. That will put me about 20 pounds lighter by the end of August, which should mean that I will at least fit into all my pre-pregnancy clothes. So the stylist can help me look at what I’ve got—and help me plan for future purchases (because, in time, I’d like to take off another 20).
Baby steps are the key! This week, my goal is to write down what I eat and how many steps I take. Anything above and beyond that is a bonus.
You so can do this. And I think I’m pretty right with you on just about every single one of your food issues from childhood and beyond. I’ve found it easier to tackle since the baby boy was born. You’ve already shown strength and tenacity that I bet you didn’t even know you had. Plus – now you’ve got that gorgeous little bundle to inspire you, and yes distract you. I guess since parenthood I’ve become a lot more logical about food. Does that make sense? it’s like, yes I have to go exercise, otherwise I’m literally not going to have the energy to get through the day. Or, okay, I need to lose weight because I need to be healthy again, or for me, it was the idea that I wanted to be pregnant again… and having a toddler now, I don’t want him seeing me eat things that are unhealthy.
Plus – I gotta say, the CSA and focusing on seasonal eating has helped too. I don’t think ever in my life have I loved vegetables as much. And I’m a vegetarian for crying out loud! :)
Plus – I’m right with you in the whole eating real foods thing. I actually have a book I reference a lot called the Schwarzbein principle which helps balance weight watchers/calorie counter/ that kind of thing for me. It focuses a lot of controlling the hormone roller coaster by limiting sugar…
I wish I was in your neighborhood and we could jog together, or go to meetings together!
Also – I was in my maternity pants still at almost a year after Oliver was born because I refused to buy the size that the store told me I was. I wasn’t giving up that stretchy waistband! Where them if they’re comfortable. For me at that stage is was more important to not make myself feel bad about my weight than it was to be fashionable. I was still nursing when I decided to try to lose the weight. Oliver was probably a year or so? It’s doable, just really encourages you to do it the healthy way. I’m now – or I was – almost 10 pounds less than when I got pregnant with Oliver. Now I get to gain it all back again! nice! :)
Sorry for the rambly!